Bold men

We [bald men] don't spend all our time shampooing and rinsing our hair. It's one of the many selfless acts we bald men perform every day to make our world a better place. The bald also don't have use for plastic combs, or no hair dryers either so that's gotta save on electricity. Come on. We have got to go bald - all of us. Walking around with a full head of hair is like driving an SUV or dumping toxic sludge into a river. It's irresponsible. Hey, you hair people, shame on you! - Larry David

ATMs

A small ATM room having two Air Conditioners and four tubelights, working 24 hours, is asking me not to print a receipt to save the environment…

Pick-up lines

Are you climate change? Because when I look at you, the world disappears. - Al Gore

• I’m like 97% of scientists, and I can’t deny … it’s getting hot in here.

• If the end of the world is coming, you might as well hook up with me!

• Tell you what, the sea level is not the only thing rising up here

- Stephen Colbert

Future generations

"There's a lot of talk about how global warming will be a disaster for future generations. When you think about it, it's hard to care. What have these future generations ever done for us?" - Jimmy Kimmel

Weather predictions

"The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather — because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?" –Jimmy Fallon

Climate marches

"About 400,000 people marched in New York today to draw attention to climate change. They held up signs and banners. They chanted things like 'Hey, hey, ho, ho, fossil fuels have got to go.' You know when somebody begins a chant with 'Hey, hey, ho, ho,' they mean business." –Jimmy Kimmel

Long discussions

"Thirty Democratic senators held an all-night 'talkathon' on the floor of the Senate last night to highlight the impacts of climate change. Yeah, 14 hours of climate change talk — or as Al Gore calls that, 'a first date.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Leonardo di Caprio

"The reason that Leo hates climate change so much is because the only reason he got famous in the first place was due to an iceberg, so he's trying to save those." - Matt Winning